Mono No Aware

Interruption. That's what I titled this image — a small burst of gold catching the light between towering trunks. It stopped me. That's the only way I know how to describe it. Something small and fleeting, insisting on being seen. Maybe that's the nature of it — the moment and the feeling disappear together.

Ever since going to Japan, no matter how much I didn't enjoy the trip at the time… I keep having the urge to learn more about the culture. See more of the country.

This concept of mono no aware is truly interesting to me.

"A gentle, profound emotional response often associated with melancholy or awareness of impermanence, triggered by what we see in the world."

I never knew there was a name for what I feel during the creation of my favorite work. I can only speak of my work, but this concept helps me make sense of what I feel. I get into these funks where I feel that I'm in a rut. Seeing the same thing day in and day out. Following the exact same path. The expected and approved path. All while desperately searching for a way out. The work I'm most proud of hits differently. I feel melancholic for days, sometimes weeks afterward. Maybe I'm missing something while interpreting this concept. But I always feel that there's more to life after the creation of a portfolio image. I feel trapped in modern society when I should be in the wild creating.

That's when I feel the most like myself. There's a tension I haven't quite resolved yet — between the stillness that follows great work and the life built around everything else. I'm not sure mono no aware is something you arrive at so much as something that finds you. Maybe that's the point. I'm still figuring it out.